One of the very first steps we can take as parents to teach our children about using their intuition is to allow them to safely and confidently say “NO” to US!
By showing them that they know themselves best, you are teaching them about their Authentic Power. If we can raise our children in an environment that allows them to say no, we are then truly preparing them for the outside world. We are teaching them that they do not have to do anything they do not feel comfortable doing.
Our first example of this occurred when we did not force, coerce, threaten, bully, belittle, shame or punish them for not wanting to hug someone ie. a family member/relative when they didn’t want to. It is not the norm...it will not create the most fans, or make you very popular, however, you will be building a bond of trust with your child that will last a lifetime. I remember one time when our oldest daughter, Isabella, wouldn’t say goodbye to our relatives and they said I wasn’t teaching her good manners. I said that in our family, we let everyone decide if they are “in the mood” to hug and that a wave, smile, or a high five works too.
Ok, I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true...in our family, we take “following our intuition” to a whole new level. We actually do allow our kids to say no to us and others. They are even allowed to say no without an explanation of why. We just ask them to say, “No, Thank you.”
The truth is, this is not an easy thing to do. Our egos are so trained that when we ask them to do something and they say no, our ego is like, “is she kidding me?” Um, I just asked her to do something...then I must take a breath and be at peace that these kids are honest and true to themselves first and foremost. We have all been raised as people pleasers and we believe the ones who initiate “peer pressure” are parents and relatives. We have been taught to follow traditions and honor our families to the point of disregarding our own Authentic Power.
We have taught our girls, 7 and 9 that they must first ask themselves if they are comfortable and if doing something someone or their parents would ask them do, is aligned with their bodies, minds and souls. Of course, this level of communication can only be attained once they are able to talk with you and if there is a level of cooperation in a family that is not based on coercion, bribes or threats. It takes time and dedication, but trust me, the payoff is that your child won’t be bullied or pressured by the outside world including friends, strangers, mates and future co-workers.
Normally, it is socially unacceptable for anyone to hear a child say No to their parents, relatives, or any adult. Some reactions will actually cause us as parents to want to “people please” and ask our children to perform so we are all approved of. This puts us all at risk for not listening to our own intuition and losing our own Authentic Power. We really feel that it’s important for children to know we all have the right to say no and that it is ok if people’s reactions are not happy. In time, they will learn from us and hopefully they will even begin to say no when they are not aligned with an action or behavior. This can also open the lines of communication to find out what feelings are behind people’s actions and behaviors. If we teach our children that they are safe to choose and say no when they don’t want to do something then we are empowering them for life.