Reducing your child's chances of being bullied

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Reducing your child's chances of being bullied

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First, we know that one out of three of our children will be bullied. One of the most important things we can do as parents is help them learn skills that will reduce their chances of being bullied. And luckily we know something about kids who are more likely to be picked on out there on that playground. First, most importantly, the University of Toronto, when they looked at studies they saw that kids who are bullied most have a vulnerability; they have an appearance of looking wimpy. So what I want you to do is teach your child CALM. C-A-L-M. Do it slowly, do it often, but here's what you want to do. Number one, I want you to look cool and calm, because you pout, you cry, you whine, you say, 'I'm gonna tell or tattle," it's exactly what the wants; he wins. Instead, cool, calm confidence helps. A is assert. Teach your child a few comeback lines, just one or two that he feels comfortable doing if a bully says something to him. Believe it or not, "So!" or, "Whatever!" are actually the two best beginning comeback lines because the bully knows, "Well that didn't work," and he goes and picks on another child. L is look the kid in the eye. If you use strong body language or at least hold your head up like eye contact, always look at the color of the talker's eyes, believe it or not it makes your whole body look stronger and confident. And M is make your voice sound like you mean it. Not wimpy, not crying, but a firm, "Stop it. Listen to my voice. Stop doing that. Stop it." Which do you think a bully would really listen to? C: Stay cool. A is assert. L is look them in the eye. And M is make your voice sound like you mean it. Keep practicing over and over again. It's going to help your child not only now, but believe it or not, the rest of his life.

See Michele Borba, EdD's video on Reducing your child's chances of being bullied...

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Michele Borba, EdD

Educational Psychologist

Michele Borba, EdD is a Today Show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award. She is recognized for her practical, solution-based parenting strategies and is an expert of bullying. Michele is the author of 22 books including Building Moral Intelligence and No More Misbehavin’. She appears as an expert on shows such as Dr. Phil, The View, and CNN and is an advisory board member for Parentsmagazine. 

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