What to do when your friends aren't understanding about prophylactic breast cancer surgery

Watch Lori Getz, M.A.'s video on What to do when your friends aren't understanding about prophylactic breast cancer surgery...
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What to do when your friends aren't understanding about prophylactic breast cancer surgery

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When I first found out about the BRCA mutation, and that I had it, I called my best friend--my one best friend. Her reaction was exactly what I expected; her words were, "Well, that's a little dramatic, don't you think?" I knew that's what she was going to say. Then I called my other best friend, who cried--hysterically--and just didn't know what else to say, or what to do. As I reached out to my community, and I told my family and my other friends, I expected the majority of reactions to be similar to how my first best friend reacted, but it was completely different. I got lots of emails and phone calls. People started prayer groups for me. Everyone talked about how brave I was and how courageous this was. All I kept thinking to myself was, "It's not cancer, so why all the accolades? Why are people telling me that I'm brave and courageous when all I'm doing is trying to prevent something horrible from happening?" It was my own insecurities about this that made me believe that people were going to react negatively to me, and they didn't, and I appreciate it. I also appreciate Lori's honesty, when she said, "Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"--it validated some of the ways that I was feeling--but in the end, I know that it was right for me. The best way to support someone--I guess it really depends on your relationship with them. You don't want to treat that person differently. If you don't understand why they're doing it, ask questions--not in a way where you're accusatory, but curious and supportive. I expected some of my friends to turn to me and say, "Wow, that really sucks," and when they did, it made me smile. You just need to be the friend that you are and move forward in that way.

Watch Lori Getz, M.A.'s video on What to do when your friends aren't understanding about prophylactic breast cancer surgery...

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Expert Bio

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Lori Getz, M.A.

Technology Expert

Since 2004 Lori has worked as an Instructional Technologist in Los Angeles, CA. She has a Master of Arts in Educational Technology from San Diego State University and is certified by isafe.org as an Internet Safety Specialist. In September 2008 Lori founded Cyber Education Consultants and began speaking to students, parents, and educators about Internet safety, security and ethics.  Since that time Lori has reached out to Internet users across the world!  Her mission is simple- to help bridge the gap between a young generation of digital natives and their parents and teachers. 

Today, Cyber Education Consultants provides workshops, professional development and consulting services to more than 100 schools across the country.

Lori is an educator, mother, and Internet safety expert.  She has appeared on the "Dr. Phil Show," "Today," "HLN," “Dr. Drew” and several other local news and radio programs (including the Ryan Seacrest show on KIIS FM).  She often lectures live, speaking to parents, teachers and students. Lori has been published in several areas including as an online expert for momlogic.com and kidsinthehouse.org.  Most recently was featured in Rachel Simmons’ new edition of “Odd Girl Out” and Lucie Hemmen’s, Ph.D “Parenting a Teen Girl.” She is currently working with the “I Have a Plan” series to develop a children’s book on online safety.  Her insight comes from both her professional and personal life working with children, tweens and teens.  

 

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