As much as you plan for your child’s arrival, there’s a good chance it’ll surprise you. During childbirth, you’ll likely experience a mix of emotions–wonder, fear, and even exhaustion. You can be sure that the journey of motherhood and childbirth will change you, but it will change you for the better.
1. Your Baby Might Not Stick to Your Birth Plan
If childbirth taught me anything, it’s that it’s best to keep your birth plan flexible. Thankfully, the only plan I imagined for my baby’s birth was a vaginal delivery. I would labor without medication as long as possible, and then if the pain got too intense, I’d ask for sweet relief. In my OB appointment just days before, my doctor told me my baby was engaged, head down, and ready to go. Now we were waiting for my sweet baby boy to enter the world.
When my water broke, and my husband and I rushed to the hospital, I prepared for a long night of laboring. When the pains became more intense as the labor focused on my back, I quickly gave up on the idea of delivering without medication. The nurse checked on the dilation status and where my baby was located in the birth channel. When the nurse reappeared, she quickly told me I was dilating properly, my labor progressing as it should, by my baby wasn’t moving because he was breech. He had been breech the past couple of weeks based on his placement.
This declaration floored me. Just days ago, my doctor told me my baby was engaged head down and ready for delivery. How had the doctor so obviously misdiagnosed my child? To this day, I’m not sure. The on-call delivery doctor quickly told me she would not vaginally deliver a breech baby, and we would need to rush into a c-section delivery. I had labored unnecessarily for a painful six hours and now would have to hurry into a stressful surgery I wasn’t emotionally prepared for. I was scared, to say the least.
Thankfully, I had my husband to support me. The on-call doctor and nurses were wonderful too. I now have a beautiful and healthy toddler who defied my simple birth plan, just like he enjoys saying “no” to seemingly everything else. While your child’s birth story will hopefully not be as exciting as mine, take the advice of keeping your birth plan flexible and learn to go with the flow. It’s good practice for parenting.
2. Moms Are Strong
If you didn’t learn it throughout your pregnancy, you’ll discover it during delivery. You are strong, mama. Whether or not you decide to give birth with medication or without, you are tough. Don’t let anyone pressure you one way or the other to take medicine or go without. Advocate for yourself during labor–the nurses are there to help you.
Labor and delivery are all about endurance. Active labor can take four to eight hours, sometimes longer for first-time moms. It’s like running a race with the best kind of prize at the end–meeting your child. You need to be mentally tough to get to the finish line. Depend on your partner during labor and use deep breathing or relaxation techniques.
3. Recovery Can Take Time
After birthing your beautiful child, give yourself adequate time to recoup. Depending on your means of delivery, your OB or midwife will advise how much time to take to fully recover. If you delivered your baby naturally, you could expect your postpartum recovery to be at least six weeks. However, some researchers believe it takes women closer to six months to recover from pregnancy fully.
After childbirth, you can experience several conditions that make recovery difficult–stress urinary incontinence, pain, bleeding, exhaustion, soreness, and swelling. If you delivered by c-section, you also have to monitor your incision site’s healing and take care not to lift or carry anything heavier than your baby. Most of these issues resolve over time. You can also speed up your recovery from stress urinary incontinence by doing pelvic floor exercises.
In a follow-up appointment six to eight weeks postpartum, your medical professional will want to examine your body to see if you’re correctly healing. They’ll also give you a depression inventory to discuss your mental health. After seeing your provider, they’ll clear you for sex and exercise.
4. Just Do Your Best
My mantra while laboring was, “just do your best.” Once my water broke and the contractions started, I knew my baby was coming. There was no stopping him. It was both a terrifying and wonderful thought. When you deliver your child, try adopting your own mantra. Whether it’s “you can do it” or “just do your best,” having a slogan to remind you of your strength will push you through delivery.
“Just do your best” is now my mantra for parenting. Especially in the early stages of parenting, when your body is still recovering from childbirth, just focus on doing your best. You won’t understand what each cry means, but you can meet your baby’s needs. Change their diaper, feed and soothe them too. In time your baby will grow and learn to communicate with words, and your job as a mom will become a bit easier.
Lessons From Childbirth
Know you will learn many things from your own experience with childbirth. You are strong, mama. Rely on your partner and prepare yourself for the greatest journey you can possibly imagine.
