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Parenting A 20 Year Old Post Divorce

I'm one of the lucky ones. Seven years of parenting post Divorce has been challenging at times, but for the most part my ex and I agree on parenting issues that arise. Enter my 20 year old son...very responsible, mature, type-A driven personality. He doesn't party, barely drinks and has an A average from a top University. 

Perfect son has a likewise perfect girlfriend, age 19, who have been dating 6 months, but see each other almost every night. Since the school year is ending, my son tells us that he and his girlfriend would like to live together next year. His reasoning appears very logical, from financial to practical. In my eyes, a no brainer if my son was older and had a few relationship years witht his girl under his belt.

As his Father and I initially discussed, our first round of decision on the matter had us definitely on the side of "no, you're too young to live with your girlfriend". However, after my son had dinner with his Father, he managed to logic him into "I'll think about it".

Keep in mind my son is okay with whatever decision we make, however it is now my turn to be the enforcer or say "I'll think about it". I am going to talk to my ex another time regarding the issue before giving my son the final answer. At what point do we stop parenting? Perhaps when the kids are no longer being supported by us financially? When my son is 21?

Truth be told, my gut says if he was 21 I would feel differently for some reason, but while he's still 20 I have the power to step in and lightly put the breaks on a situation, even if only for another year. 

My mom instincts are telling me to be the wise bearer of wise news. "If you're still with her when you're 21 and financially self-sufficient, you can do what you want."

You can find Michelle at, where she is Founder and Content Master : )

Michelle Zudeck, founder of is a divorced mother of two amazing kids, now 19 and 22. Having gone through a divorce in 2007, Michelle successfully navigated the ups and downs of the divorce process. Michelle's mantra and advice for those going through Divorce is to "try and put the best interests of your children ahead of your own".