I am 41 & a mom to 2 beautiful girls who are 8 & 10. It’s hard for me to believe parents are still grounding their children to teach them life’s most important lessons. I wouldn’t mind getting grounded as an adult, which sounds quite relaxing LOL. :)
I guess I should ask my parents, but I am not sure if I have ever been grounded as a punishment. I do know that it was very common if I called a friend and asked them to make plans, and I heard them respond with, “Sorry, I can’t, I’m grounded.”
Do you think there is anyone who has not heard of or experienced in some way this common term for punishment in homes and families? A definition online explains it like this:
“Grounding is a common punishment for children and teenagers. In some cases, it is suggested as an alternative to corporal punishment in the home. Typically a young person who is grounded is not allowed to leave their home or their bedroom, except for school, work, meals, church, homework, dentist or doctor appointments, and other important activities. Occasionally it can be combined with the withdrawal of privileges such as the use of cars, sweets, yearbooks, alarm clocks, watches, prom, theme parks, parties, or the Internet. The effectiveness of the punishment in obtaining the desired discipline, like all other punishment, depends on the implementation, severity of the misdemeanor, child, guardian, and specific situation such as if the child lied about a serious situation, hurt someone, or a sibling, stole from someone or the parent or got in trouble with the law or failing in school for not doing assignments.”
The goal of this punishment, the opposite of physical discipline is that parent teaches the child or teen the consequences of their actions by taking privileges away, and by taking their freedom away it’s more effective.”~From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Grounding them as a punishment just puts a wall of fear, shame, blame, judgment & guilt between you and your children who you love most. It does not teach them anything about making better decisions. It also breaks their trust in you and your relationship. So they cannot rely on you for proper guidance.
This very outdated method of punishing our children in order to teach them what we want them to learn most is the exact opposite of Mindful Parenting. It may of seemed much easier to simply choose to ground your child to teach them a lesson, but we have learned that actually connecting and communicating with your child actually has more influence.
In order to delete grounding our children as a punishment, we need to begin working harder to build loving bonds with our child, so they can trust us to guide them on how to even make mindful decisions. I think changing how we typically use this word can be a fun way to challenge ourselves into new ways of thinking.
I know that typically, parenting up until now has sometimes been more reactive, and we were not really guided to be proactive or help our children through their decisions. It is definitely more socially acceptable to “punish/discipline” our children. I believe that we can shift our entire world by changing even just this one way of parenting.
I would love for you to consider a new, modern way of "Grounding" your child.
“Instead of Grounding your child, help your child Ground Their Energy.”~Tina Louise Balodi (Tweetable)
It can be so beneficial to help guide your child and provide them with amazing coping & connecting skills, tools and techniques that can add to their well-being. We are all made up of energy and we need to teach our kids to understand how they feel when they are making decisions. This will help them determine what decisions feel best. Expecting a different result when still using the same punishment/discipline techniques from when I was growing up sounds a lot like the exact definition of insanity.
We have enough social proof to see that our parenting methods could really use some upgrades. As parents, it’s our responsibility to continue learning just as we expect our children to learn. There is so much information & scientific evidence to support the benefits of aligning one’s energy to feel better, stay healthy, and make mindful decisions that feel good to us and others.
Sometimes I think our kids may be so rushed into making decisions that they are not familiar with taking some time to figure out how they really feel. Let’s do whatever we can to help them instead of causing them to turn to their peers or any untrustworthy guidance from others. Let them know they can come to you. Let them know they do not have to fear you. Let them know they are important and their decisions have a ripple effect on themselves, their families, and their communities.
Here are some wonderful techniques for helping your child Ground Their Energy:
- Take Deep Breaths - I know it’s hard to do in the moment and sounds silly when you are angry or misaligned, but it can really help shift our energy. The more you do it, the better
- Exercise – Moving our bodies can help us to move our emotions through us and we can then make decisions from a calm thinking place
- Meditate – This is a wonderful way to connect with our inner beings and to allow quiet time to recharge and calm our mind and our bodies
- Listen To Music – Music always help shift our energy and change our vibrational frequency. Even playing music in your home quietly in the background can help with everyone’s energy
- Get Out In Nature – Get some fresh air to shift energy and even walk barefoot on the ground or the grass to connect to the energy of the Earth. Even a short walk can shift your mood
- Be Mindful About Eating & Drinking – Being Mindful about what we eat and drink can really shift our moods and our decisions. Just reading labels increases awareness about what goes inside our bodies
- Take Salt Baths – This can help clear our energy and also remove any toxins in the body. It is extra relaxing with essential oils and sometimes allows some great time to get quiet and have inspirational thoughts, especially without electronics in our hands
All of these techniques will help your children be able to tune into their own intuition, which will help guide their feelings, preferences, & decisions. Actually, even after you have found out about a decision that your child has made that felt unacceptable, it would be great to practice grounding your energy and your child’s energy before you even talk about what happened. In a calm manner, then you can connect and see why they made this decision and what can be done next time to choose something more mindful.
These practices are more of a proactive approach to guiding our children rather than reacting with consequences after the fact. These techniques are preventative, meaning they are most helpful if practiced before your child makes important decisions. Raising their awareness is the best way to help them make mindful decisions.
It’s time we upgrade our parenting so we are on the same team as our children. Let’s show them how WE make Mindful decisions so we can be an example to them.