Is it possible to praise kids too much?

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Is it possible to praise kids too much?

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Many parents worry that there is such a thing as praising too much and that if they keep on praising their child, the child is going to turn into some sort of praise junkie and only perform for praise. It is not true that there is such a thing as too much praise. It is true that there is such a thing as praising incorrectly. So a lot of people will praise you are the prettiest, you are the smartest in the school, you are the da da da. That is not a good way to praise. It is too global and it is not accurate anyway. And so often the child will not even feel it. The better way to praise is to praise descriptively. I see that you are helping your brother Johnny learn how to read. I really appreciate it and then link it to a value. It shows what a good big brother you are. You are really kind. That is the way to praise. And praising needs to be not over talents, abilities, looks, brains, athleticism, music ability but it has to be over things that you value. How you want to shape your child: compassion, kindness, good listener, helpful brother, good big sister, those kind of things. So first, you descriptively praise what it is you see and then link it to what you value.

See Pamela Varady, PsyD's video on Is it possible to praise kids too much?...

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Pamela Varady, PsyD

Psychologist

Dr. Pamela Varady is a Child and Adult Psychologist and sought-after parenting expert. She has appeared as a relationship expert on NBC, Discovery Health Network, The Today Show and Fox TV.  Dr. Varady wrote a workbook, 15 Minutes To Sibling Harmony and conducts seminars and Purposeful Parenting Classes throughout Southern California. In addition, Dr. Varady operates Dynamic Learning and Listening Center for children with special needs with her husband, Dr. Jackson Varady and sister, Dr. Jennifer Glasser, who are also psychologists. Pamela lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 13 year old twin boys.

 

 

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