Experiencing a stillbirth

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Experiencing a stillbirth

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If you’re a parent who’s just had to say goodbye to a baby – they’re a stillbirth – there is no containment for the emotions that you’re feeling. First and foremost, it’s probably grief and probably right on the heels of that is a degree of guilt. I know I felt that when my husband and I were told that our son’s heart had stopped. My husband said, “Honey, what can I do for you?” And I told him. I said, “You just need to pray that this guilt goes away.” Because I thought somehow it was my fault. I did everything I was supposed to. I took my prenatals, I went to my doctor appointments. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t drink. I did my yoga. And I still lost my baby. It’s a natural emotion – I’m not going to tell you not to feel it, because you’re going to. I did, for many months. Talk about it. Talk to your partner, talk to your doctor. Don’t let anyone tell you that the stages of your grief and the way you’re handling it is wrong. Don’t let them do that, because they will – just ignore them. But know, you loved your baby for every minute you carried them and that love is going to continue and it wasn’t your fault.

View Monica Gregory's video on Experiencing a stillbirth...

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Monica Gregory

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Monica Gregory is 30-something stay-at-home-mom whose journey to motherhood has been anything but smooth.  Seven pregnancies, two chemical pregnancies, one twin miscarriage, one VBAC stillbirth, two C-sections, and a total of 11 months on bedrest don't make her an expert on pregnancy or parenting, but they do make her passionate about her role as mother.  Before relocating from Ohio to Nashville, TN, for her husband's job, Monica was a commercial insurance agent. Today, she spends her days with Seth, three, Erin, one, and new baby James, sweeping up graham crackers, playing trains, blogging and cooking...all to the strains of Nick, Jr. in the background.

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