Growing bigger shoulders

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Growing bigger shoulders

So often I tell my parent clients, “Grow bigger shoulders.” And what I mean by that is, “Don’t take your child’s behavior personally.” We want to be like that majestic oak that they can swing off of and run around, and maybe kick or carve their initials in and we still shelter them. So whether it’s running through the kitchen again in his muddy shoes after you’ve told him five times not to, or… whatever it is, don’t make it mean that, “He doesn’t respect me,” or, “He doesn’t love me.” Grow bigger shoulders. Because when we do take it personally, it undermines our center as that calm, loving authority – so that’s already negative – and also it undermines us in their eyes. Credible leaders, they don’t take that stuff. You know, it all just runs off their back. They’re just bigger than all that. Be bigger than all that.

Watch Marcy Axness, PhD's video on Growing bigger shoulders...


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Marcy Axness, PhD

Childhood Development Specialist

Marcy Axness, PhD, is an early development specialist, popular international speaker, and author of Parenting for Peace: Raising the Next Generation of Peacemakers. She is a top blogger at and a member of their expert panel. Featured in several documentary films as an expert in adoption, prenatal development and Waldorf education, Dr. Axness has a private practice coaching parents-in-progress. She considers as one of her most important credentials that she raised two peacemakers to share with the world -- Ian and Eve, both in their 20s. 

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