A lot of my work with clients and a lot of my work in my book, "Parenting for Peace," is about cultivating an inner sense of calm, loving authority. We all know, when we are in a new situation, a new city, a new job; how it feels when we don't know where to go or what to do, how comforting it is when there is somebody on the scene who reliably knows what's supposed to happen, and they kindly lends us authoritative guidance. It lets us relax into the experience more fully, instead of in that alert state that you can be when you don't know what's going on. We have to understand that for the baby and the toddler, all of life is a new experience like that. It is a gift for them to be that calm, loving authority figure. The word "discipline" comes from the word "disciple," or joyful follower. If you be that calm, loving authority, your child takes joy in following. Discipline really ceases to be a big issue.