Responding to tantrums

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Responding to tantrums

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Tantrums are such a hot button issue because, when they happen, it's very disturbing to us as parents. The answer to handle this is very simple, but it's not easy. Here it is: You, as the parent, remain calm and centered. Period. You take a deep breath and you ground yourself. What you are doing is putting neuroscience to work for you because we have these things called mirror neurons. It makes the other person feel what you are feeling. So what you don't want to do is, you don't want to be sucked into your child's mirror neuron dynamic because that is often what happens. You want to be in a calm centered place, and your child will catch your calm. A big piece of this is not worrying about what other people are thinking, because if this happens on the floor at K-Mart, it's not very pleasant. Forget what everybody thinks. You need to be there for your child. Please don't worry about what other people are going to think you are rewarding bad behavior if you comfort your child. They need your calm presence. They need to be in your arms.

View Marcy Axness, PhD's video on Responding to tantrums...

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Marcy Axness, PhD

Childhood Development Specialist

Marcy Axness, PhD, is an early development specialist, popular international speaker, and author of Parenting for Peace: Raising the Next Generation of Peacemakers. She is a top blogger at Mothering.com and a member of their expert panel. Featured in several documentary films as an expert in adoption, prenatal development and Waldorf education, Dr. Axness has a private practice coaching parents-in-progress. She considers as one of her most important credentials that she raised two peacemakers to share with the world -- Ian and Eve, both in their 20s. 

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