Assumptions about Black Mothers

Denene Millner, Bestselling Author & Founder of MyBrownBaby, shares advice for African American mothers on how to overcome the assumptions made about them
Parenting TIps | Overcoming Stereotypes About Black Mothers
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Assumptions about Black Mothers

Some of the most typical stereotypes of black moms is that we didn't have our children on purpose, that our children were made by mistake, that we don't love them the way that other mothers love their children, or that we're not interested in caring for them in the way that other mothers care for their children. And that can be really hard when you walk out of your house and you're just trying to go and pick up some groceries and someone is making a massive judgment about your parenting skills or about your children or about you as a mother. What I do when I'm put into those situations is I correct them on the spot. If someone is, say for instance, I had an instance where I was trying to get my kids into a private school and practically the second thing out of this woman's mouth was, "So, we don't have scholarships." Okay, well I didn't ask you for a scholarship. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I wouldn't appreciate a scholarship, but your assumption is that I can't afford to let my child go to this school without your help. And that is exactly what I told her. "Well, I didn't come here to find out about your scholarships. I came here to find out about your educational opportunities for my child." And so it doesn't have to be nasty, it doesn't have to be rude, you just correct. And then people, you find, when you correct them on the spot, they'll realize that they're in the wrong, and they'll adjust. And if they don't, it's your prerogative to get up and leave. You don't have to deal with people like that.

Denene Millner, Bestselling Author & Founder of MyBrownBaby, shares advice for African American mothers on how to overcome the assumptions made about them


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Denene Millner

Author & Founder of

New York Times best-selling author Denene Millner is a hotly sought after award-winning journalist whose insightful and captivating pieces have secured her foothold in the entertainment, parenting and book publishing industries. Millner spent the last decade working as a columnist, contributing editor and blogger for Parenting, a national magazine for which she provided witty, engaging, mom-to-mom advice on ethics and etiquette in everything from childrearing and marriage to work and friendship. Currently, she also is the founder and editor of, a critically acclaimed, award-winning blog that examines parenting and motherhood through the multi-cultural experience. Millner frequently contributes as an entertainment writer for Essence, the most well-read and respected magazine for African American women, and has written for a plethora of national publications and prestigious websites, including Parenting, HealthEbony, JetHeart & SoulReal Health, Money, iVillage,, TodayMoms, and The Root, among others. Her extensive television experience includes regular appearances on the The Today Show, CBS Early ShowThe Nate Berkus Show, HLN, CNN, MSNBC, VH1, and the Rachel Ray show. Millner also is the author of 21 books. The former political reporter and entertainment journalist lives in the Atlanta area with her husband and their two daughters.

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