Being permissive vs. setting limits

View Denene Millner's video on Being permissive vs. setting limits...
Being permissive vs. setting limits | Kids in the House
KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Being permissive vs. setting limits

I think there is some harm in being a permissive parent. Children need boundaries. They need to understand where that line is and what happens when you cross it. There are ways to be permissive that are good for them. Yes, you can read two books instead of one, if that's what makes you happy. Yes, we can draw another picture. Yes, we can indulge and have a piece of cake today after dinner, or maybe eat dessert before dinner because it's a fun thing to do. But they need those boundaries. They need you to be the adult in the relationship. And they need to understand that they're the ones who are learning from the adults, right? And so the way that you do that is to make them understand where that line is. And you can walk right up to it, but the moment that you cross it, we're gonna have a conversation about that. And you're gonna understand that this is where you're supposed to be, not over there.

View Denene Millner's video on Being permissive vs. setting limits...


Expert Bio

More from Expert

Denene Millner

Author & Founder of

New York Times best-selling author Denene Millner is a hotly sought after award-winning journalist whose insightful and captivating pieces have secured her foothold in the entertainment, parenting and book publishing industries. Millner spent the last decade working as a columnist, contributing editor and blogger for Parenting, a national magazine for which she provided witty, engaging, mom-to-mom advice on ethics and etiquette in everything from childrearing and marriage to work and friendship. Currently, she also is the founder and editor of, a critically acclaimed, award-winning blog that examines parenting and motherhood through the multi-cultural experience. Millner frequently contributes as an entertainment writer for Essence, the most well-read and respected magazine for African American women, and has written for a plethora of national publications and prestigious websites, including Parenting, HealthEbony, JetHeart & SoulReal Health, Money, iVillage,, TodayMoms, and The Root, among others. Her extensive television experience includes regular appearances on the The Today Show, CBS Early ShowThe Nate Berkus Show, HLN, CNN, MSNBC, VH1, and the Rachel Ray show. Millner also is the author of 21 books. The former political reporter and entertainment journalist lives in the Atlanta area with her husband and their two daughters.

More Parenting Videos from Denene Millner >
Enter your email to
download & subscribe
to our newsletter