The different masks of narcissism

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The different masks of narcissism

I read in my book about the masks that narcissist can wear and part of the reason we think of it as a mask is because at the core of most narcissist there is this uncomfortable feeling about exposing who they really are. The vulnerable side. The real side, the ordinary person's side. It's unacceptable to them. So they wear masks because the mission of narcissist is really to gain approval, to feel acceptable, to delight and impress you in any way that they can. They are performers. So if you think about performance, the mask makes a lot of sense. And one of the masks is the Bully. So that mask when they're wearing it, it's when they're being controlling, when they're pushing people around, when they want their own way. The other mask is the mask of the Entitled One. They feel special. They feel that rules should never apply to them. That they should be able to make their own rules. That they should be able to have what they want when they want. So they feel and act in ways that are very entitled. You have the Show Off who never stops taking about him or herself. That's another mask. And then, there's another mask which is just the Disappearance. The invisible man. You know, where now you see me, now you don't and they disappear. You start to talk about what's important to you, what matters to you, what you need in your life and they're gone.

Watch Video: The different masks of narcissism by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, ...


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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