What type of person is attracted to a narcissist?

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What type of person is attracted to a narcissist?

One of the curiosities among many of the women that I work with is; how did I end up with a narcissist in my life? What attracts people to narcissism? And the answer is I think no one is immune. I think anyone can be swept away by the charm - the initial charm, the infatuation, the wonderful courtship of this narcissistic individual be it men or women. The question really is what keeps someone in the relationship with a narcissist? And that's the differentiating piece because if you grew up as a child with issues of abandonment, someone left. There was instability in the house, nothing to hold on to that was solid and predictive as children needs so much in their development. This is a perfect person to keep that going. You don't stay with the person because you're a masochist. You stay because you're a human and we gravitate to that which feels familiar. And so without help and understanding that we're sort of reliving the life we knew will end up staying in that situation. That's one example of a child's a origin that lead to continuing to be too long in the relationship that needs help.

See Wendy T. Behary, LCSW's video on What type of person is attracted to a narcissist?...


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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