The traits and profile of a narcissist

Wendy Behary, LCSW Psychotherapist and Author, explains the common traits and profile of a narcissistic person
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The traits and profile of a narcissist

If you’re thinking as a narcissist as a profile, many people will ask, how will I know if I am dealing with a narcissist, because all human beings can have times in their lives where they’ll be a little bit self consumed ,where we maybe a little more controlling than we like to be, where we can sometimes get too involved in wanting to share or show off something wonderful that’s happened or something we have done that we’re very proud of. You have to think of this in terms of extreme and excessiveness. Some of the common traits of narcissism that would make for a profile of narcissism would be, you have someone who is really so self absorbed, it’s all about them; someone who is very controlling, they do this bait and switch maneuver where they can say, where would you like to go for dinner? And then you’ll say, oh I feel like Asian food tonight, and they’ll say, why would you want that, no we’re going to do this; so they switch quickly, they can also be very charming and also be very complimentary, they can also woo you in many ways and sometimes it’s even real, but it’s unfortunately a small characteristic in their personality. They can be interruptive, over controlling, they are stubborn, they are compulsive many times, thing has to be perfectionistic, things has to be a certain way for them. Their world is all about management of control, performance and being perfect, showing off well for the audience. They can get into very addictive behaviors, a variety of addictive behaviors in support of their needs to disappear when they don’t have the audience in front of them. Life becomes like a game and so many times they get involved in gambling and other types of high stakes situations because it’s a thrill for them, it’s their way of shutting down the valves of their own vulnerability.

Wendy Behary, LCSW Psychotherapist and Author, explains the common traits and profile of a narcissistic person


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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