What is a narcissist?

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What is a narcissist?

People often asked the question, what is a narcissist? Can you define it in simple terms for me. I think the simplest way to think about narcissism is think about someone who is super self absorbed, not just the occasional, I have to focus on me because I have to think about what I’m going to wear to a party or planning an event. Its really where the self absorption finds them, its all about them,in conversation you can sense it, they’re not listening, they’re not watching your face to see what you’re thinking about what they have to say, they continue to speak, oftentimes in monologues or they are orating, they’re telling you something about themselves that’s either wonderful for your approval , for your attention, or they’re charming, they’re trying to solicit your approval that way, very charming and heroic, in fact interesting, delightful, but all of the emphasis is placed on themselves, it’s all about them. The simplest way of defining narcissism is really to think about that person as someone who is just completely self absorbed.

See Wendy T. Behary, LCSW's video on What is a narcissist?...


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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