How narcissists can grow & change

Watch Video: How narcissists can grow & change by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, ...
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How narcissists can grow & change

What looms large in the minds of many who are dealing with narcissism is can a narcissist actually change? And if you look at the literature and you look at the websites, you are going to find mostly people saying, “Run! Don’t walk! Keep going. Don’t look back. They’ll never change. They have no conscience. They have no moral compass.” And having worked with them for 26 years, and I’ve worked with some fairly aggressive narcissists, I can say that change is possible. But it requires an essential element, and that is leverage, meaning that if you don’t have any consequences, something that they don’t want to face, something that would be meaningful enough for them, without that it’s not possible. It’s really innocent. Then it’s time to exit. But if you have meaningful consequences, for example they don’t want to lose contact with their children, that relationship is at risk. They don’t want to lose their partner, they don’t want to lose their job, that can set the stage. Their motivation can grow from there, but you have to have qualified help, some source, a resource, whether it’s self-help, whether it’s a professional, whether it’s reading or literature, something that enables them to develop an understanding and begin to develop tools and skills for making that change possible. So the leverage is really the key ingredient towards change.

Watch Video: How narcissists can grow & change by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, ...


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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