Are most narcissists bullied or spoiled?

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Are most narcissists bullied or spoiled?

The topic of bullying is very popular these days and the question comes up often if narcissists are more likely to be the bullies or are more likely to be the ones who were bullied as children. And the answer is it could be both. Some children, some narcissists, will report that as the child they were the bully. They were the superstar. They were the one that everybody gravitated towards. They were the leaders. And in fact it felt like a burden to them, but it gave them a sense of popularity and importance. But for most, the majority of them, will report that they were the ones who were bullied. They didn't have the social prowess. They didn't have the easy facility for dealing with other children, because it wasn't modeled for them, because they weren't treated that way in the home. So they go into school and they are kind of the odd ones. They are the ones where all the focus is on their achievements, their grades, doing well, so they can become a threat to some of the other children in the room, or they are just different. And so they end up being the ones who are bullied or teased or made fun of. And, as a result, they become the grown-up bullies in the world.

View Wendy T. Behary, LCSW's video on Are most narcissists bullied or spoiled? ...


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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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