Changing your focus from "day to day" management

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Changing your focus from "day to day" management

So oftentimes when I'm working with a parent and they're describing life with their kids, it's as if they're looking through a very small lens down on the ground. I have to get my kids up, and then pick out their clothes, and then get them to the table. Make sure they eat a healthy breakfast before they go to school. And what they're talking about are things - the minutiae of day to day life. But what's happening is their kids are in the home with them. There are relationships that are either being built or fractured. So when I work with parents I talk about lifting your head up. Forget the minutiae for a minute .And just do an inventory of what life is like in your home during the morning routine. Are people making connections? Are people talking to each other? Are people eating meals together? Are children engaged in their own life? Are they taking care of themselves? Getting dressed? Talking to mom and dad? Interacting with siblings? And oftentimes parents report that there's very little of that going on. So instead we want to focus on what's happening between the relationships with everyone in the home. We want to emphasize that this is what really makes for a healthy family, that taking care of the day-to-day minutiae of life isn't really what creates a healthy, happy, sustainable family. Now the good news is that once you shift your focus to the relationships that you have with the people in your home, the day to day stuff starts to take care of itself. You start to delegate jobs to people. Folks start to be more cooperative together. Kids start to take responsibility for their backpacks, and their lunches, and their homework so that mom and dad have more time to check in with their kids about how are friendships going and how's your relationship with your teacher? So it's really just a shift in what you're noticing and both of those things, the day to day life with kids and the relationship, then start to work in balance with each other.

See Vicki Hoefle's video on Changing your focus from "day to day" management...


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Vicki Hoefle

Professional Parent Educator

Vicki Hoefle is a professional parent educator with over 20 years experience teaching parents, educators and caregivers how to raise respectful, responsible and resilient children. Hoefle combines her expertise in Adlerian Psychology and as an International Coaching Federation certified coach to bring parents Duct Tape Parenting, a sustainable and proactive parenting strategy that provides time-tested tools for harvesting a happy and peaceful family life. Her informative and highly engaging presentation style keeps her in demand as a speaker, facilitator and educator. Hoefle is a mother of six and lives in Middlebury, Vermont.

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