Advice for parenting the college age interdependent child

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Advice for parenting the college age interdependent child

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I came up with a motto, a slogan to help me parent. And it was this. It is my job to make sure that when my children turn 18, I have trained them in everything that they need to learn so that they can open the doors, walk over the threshold, and enter young adulthood with confidence and enthusiasm. I have 18 years to prepare them. It is my job to teach them how to run their life so they don't need me any longer. But so many kids find themselves at college and don't know how to manage their lives, how to navigate their lives, how to make simple decisions, how to organize. And they're forced back home. And I can't think of anything worse for those kids to admit that they couldn't make it on their own, or for their parents who have to say, come back home, knowing that in some way it was their fault. If you find a child who has to come home because they couldn't make it, this is a chance to start fresh. Look back and ask yourself what areas of this child's life did you do for them because you thought it would be too hard or they would make a mistake or they would make a mistake and it was just easier if you did it for them.. And teach them. It's not going to be fun, because they see themselves as adults, but they already know that they're missing some of the life skills that they need to be successful. Sit down, have a heart-to-heart, make a list start at the top, and teach them everything they need to now. Set a timeline that says, 6 months or a year from now we're going to try it again. This is not the worst thing that will happen to you. Together we're going to figure this out. We're going to get you ready to go this time. And you're going to give it another shot.

See Vicki Hoefle's video on Advice for parenting the college age interdependent child...

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Vicki Hoefle

Professional Parent Educator

Vicki Hoefle is a professional parent educator with over 20 years experience teaching parents, educators and caregivers how to raise respectful, responsible and resilient children. Hoefle combines her expertise in Adlerian Psychology and as an International Coaching Federation certified coach to bring parents Duct Tape Parenting, a sustainable and proactive parenting strategy that provides time-tested tools for harvesting a happy and peaceful family life. Her informative and highly engaging presentation style keeps her in demand as a speaker, facilitator and educator. Hoefle is a mother of six and lives in Middlebury, Vermont.

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