Statistics for affairs in marriages with children

Tammy Nelson, PhD outlines the statistics about infidelity and discusses why affairs are so harmful to a family
Relationship Advice | Statistics for affairs in marriages with children
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Statistics for affairs in marriages with children

So statistics in marriages with children are hard to college, because affairs are based on dishonesty, so people lie to the researchers. But we think anywhere from 55-65% of the people are actually cheating at some point in their marriage. And it doesn't matter if you have children or not. But the likelihood of hiding the affair if you have children is much higher. So people very rarely leave their partner for the person that they're cheating with, because affairs only last an average of about 3 years. And only a really small portion of people end up marrying the person that they leave their partner for. And of those people, I hate to tell you this if you're actually having an affair. But of those people, only about 3% of those marriages actually work out. Because those relationships are actually based on dishonesty. So if you leave your partner for someone you're cheating with eventually you're going to wonder, is this person going to leave me for someone else? So affairs in and of themselves whether you have children or not create a whole atmosphere of distrust and dishonest. And that atmosphere will eventually erode not necessarily the foundation of your relationship but your own moral code. And when that happens the foundation of your own integrity starts to wear away. Now integrity means integrating your responsibility to yourself and to others. When your own integrity starts to be threatened, how do you maintain your responsibility to yourself as a parent and to your kids? And that's the crisis. You know, affairs are not necessarily a sexual dilemma. It's not necessarily a crisis around sex. Affairs are really a moral dilemma, because they have to do with our moral decisions. They have to do with the agreement that we made with our partner. How do we align ourselves with our integrity, our own belief about who we are as a person?

Tammy Nelson, PhD outlines the statistics about infidelity and discusses why affairs are so harmful to a family


Expert Bio

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Tammy Nelson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert

Tammy Nelson PhD is the author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  (2008) and  “What’s Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia (2004)” and her latest  book “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity” (January 2013) is receiving critical acclaim.  She has been a featured expert in New York Times, Washington Post, Self,  Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC,  Shape, Men’s Health, Women’s Health Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, and a source in Time Magazine. She writes for the Huffington Post, YourTango and can be followed on her blog

Tammy Nelson is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Certified Sex Therapist and an Imago Relationship Therapist.  She is an international speaker and a licensed psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples.  She travels and lectures internationally on her quest for global relational change.

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