How to have great sex while pregnant

Tammy Nelson, PhD, Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert, shares advice for couples on how to have the best sex possible while pregnant
How To Have Great Sex During Pregnancy
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How to have great sex while pregnant

So sex and pregnancy. Do the two overlap? Do you feel more sexy during pregnancy or less? Do you want to have sex, but you're too tired? Do you feel attractive? You know, there's a lot of things that happen when you're pregnant, and you want to stay connected to your partner, and you want an intimate and passionate life, but there's a couple of things involved - arousal and desire. And arousal and desire are two different things. Arousal happens because you're physically turned on, because something sensual is happening in your body or in your mind. Desire means that you want to have sex, that you want to be aroused, that you want to have desire - you desire to have desire. Now those are two very different things. You might have the desire to have sex, but you're too tired, or you feel too fat, or you can't move in the bed, or the positions that you used to. But once you're aroused, once you feel something nice on your skin, once you feel like you've had enough rest, once there's a fantasy in your mind, that arousal can overcome a lot of those feelings of exhaustion or body image issues or resistance. So women, remember that arousal comes before desire. You may not walk around saying, oh my God, I can't wait to have sex. But once you have reached a certain plateau of physical or sexual arousal, which is the physical part of your body, then you might have desire, which is that part that says, no, I really do want to do this. So if you have a partner that knows how to trigger that physical arousal - soft massage, giving you time alone to build up some of that energy that you've lost from pregnancy, taking baths or doing other sensual things that will actually increase the touch experience, and going into your head, reading something sexy or having fantasies. This is where your biggest turn-on is, right here in your brain. Creating arousal first can create desire. And sometimes it's just the desire to want to be aroused that can begin the process of getting turned on if you are pregnant.
PREGNANCY, Sex and Relationship

Tammy Nelson, PhD, Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert, shares advice for couples on how to have the best sex possible while pregnant


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Tammy Nelson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert

Tammy Nelson PhD is the author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  (2008) and  “What’s Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia (2004)” and her latest  book “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity” (January 2013) is receiving critical acclaim.  She has been a featured expert in New York Times, Washington Post, Self,  Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC,  Shape, Men’s Health, Women’s Health Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, and a source in Time Magazine. She writes for the Huffington Post, YourTango and can be followed on her blog

Tammy Nelson is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Certified Sex Therapist and an Imago Relationship Therapist.  She is an international speaker and a licensed psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples.  She travels and lectures internationally on her quest for global relational change.

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