What to do when you suspect your spouse of an affair

Tammy Nelson, PhD offers advice on what to do when you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you
Relationship Advice | What to do when you suspect your spouse is having an affair
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What to do when you suspect your spouse of an affair

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If you suspect that your partner is having an affair, number one, confront them. Sneaking around, playing detective is not going to help. One of the first signs that your partner might be cheating is if they hide their cell phone. Confront your partner. Be direct. My intuition is telling me that something's going on. If they deny it, say, I get it. I hear you saying you're not cheating. But my inner voice is telling me that something is not right. I'm wondering if you would feel weird if I asked you if I could see your cell phone. If they deny it, they don't let you see their texts, they don't let you see their voice mail messages, then you might even confront them a little further and say, that makes me even more nervous, the fact that you're hiding your cell phone from me. I'm not asking you to be totally transparent with everything you do. And I respect your privacy, but we need to have a conversation about the difference between privacy and secrecy. Because what's happening now is making me really suspicious.

Tammy Nelson, PhD offers advice on what to do when you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you

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Expert Bio

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Tammy Nelson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert

Tammy Nelson PhD is the author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  (2008) and  “What’s Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia (2004)” and her latest  book “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity” (January 2013) is receiving critical acclaim.  She has been a featured expert in New York Times, Washington Post, Self,  Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC,  Shape, Men’s Health, Women’s Health Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, and a source in Time Magazine. She writes for the Huffington Post, YourTango and can be followed on her blog www.drtammynelson.com/blog/.

Tammy Nelson is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Certified Sex Therapist and an Imago Relationship Therapist.  She is an international speaker and a licensed psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples.  She travels and lectures internationally on her quest for global relational change.

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