Advice and resources for parents of gender-confused kids

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Advice and resources for parents of gender-confused kids

When my son decided to take the dressing like a girl out of the house, not just in dress-up, but when he decided he wanted to begin to present as a girl, I decided to ask a dear friend of mine who was a mom who I've known for years whose daughter I've also known for years, I've known her since she was eight and she's 24 now, she presents as a boy. So I went to this woman as a friend, I talked to her daughter because she had the experience, and I talked to the mom to see how she handled it. I also talked to my midwife's partner who is transgendered, because it was important for me to ask them, When did you know? Did you know for sure? Did you always know? Did you think maybe? Because I want to give my son the opportunity to explore who he is without pulling him out and being a transgendered cheerleader. Also by not by pushing him in and repressing his natural inclination to present maybe other than his gender that he was given at birth. What I found out after talking to my friends and after doing some research is that the presentation is fluid. Some days he definitely does feel more boy; but some days he feels more girl. And when he asks to present like a girl and for me to not correct him in public, if somebody says, "Oh what a beautiful daughter you have," when he asks me to not correct him, I have to honor and respect that. And I have to know that this is his path and that it's a fluid, changing environment and he will find his ultimate expression.

View Connor Barnas's video on Advice and resources for parents of gender-confused kids...


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Connor Barnas


Connor Barnas is blessed and busy, living life with her husband Ethan and two children, Magdalena June, eight, and Augustus Wolfe, six in the midst of finding the sacred in the mundane and allowing space for serenity. After being given the gift of desperation, Connor began her life of recovery and discovery within the 12 Step paradigms in 1995. In 2002 she graduated from the University of New Mexico with a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art and married the love of her life, Ethan; moved to a beautiful, dusty, desert town; and began her journey as a wife and mother.  

In 2003, Connor co-founded an Attachment Parenting group, and became a leader shortly after.  Connor has been involved in the Attachment Parenting community as a leader and a resource, and was honored as a featured volunteer during Volunteer Recognition Week, April 2011 by Attachment Parenting International. 

After relocating and settling in Jacksonville, Florida, to be close to her family of origin, Connor founded HAP East, a local homeschooling group whose focus and mission is to create community and continuity of relationship for homeschooling/attachment parenting families. 

Connor joyfully shares her experience, strength and hope with families and friends in the recovery, homeschool, and AP communities; she combines the spiritual principles of the 12 steps with the practical and compassionate parenting strategies of API to inform her path and growth as a woman, mother, wife, and active member of her world. 

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