Dad's reaction to gender confusion

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Dad's reaction to gender confusion

My husband has a very different experience with how he sees my son dressing like a girl. He's military, he feels like my son should present specifically as a boy all the time, gender specific; whereas, I believe that how he wants to present, how he wants to dress, is an expression of himself. My husband thinks it's a choice. My husband believes that maybe while he likes to dress flamboyantly, it's more important that we direct him to dress a specific way, that we have to help him, that it's a choice my son is making, that it's not really coming up from within him, and that it's our job to re-direct him to put him in gender-specific boy clothes and to not encourage him. I believe that that creates disconnection so in order for my husband and my son and I to maintain connection amongst all of us--it's not just my son and I, it has to be all of us, we're a family--we have to find a way to move through this, and we do it with compromise. No dresses outside the house to respect my husband, but flamboyant, theatrical clothing to allow my son to have his expression.

Watch Connor Barnas's video on Dad's reaction to gender confusion...


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Connor Barnas


Connor Barnas is blessed and busy, living life with her husband Ethan and two children, Magdalena June, eight, and Augustus Wolfe, six in the midst of finding the sacred in the mundane and allowing space for serenity. After being given the gift of desperation, Connor began her life of recovery and discovery within the 12 Step paradigms in 1995. In 2002 she graduated from the University of New Mexico with a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art and married the love of her life, Ethan; moved to a beautiful, dusty, desert town; and began her journey as a wife and mother.  

In 2003, Connor co-founded an Attachment Parenting group, and became a leader shortly after.  Connor has been involved in the Attachment Parenting community as a leader and a resource, and was honored as a featured volunteer during Volunteer Recognition Week, April 2011 by Attachment Parenting International. 

After relocating and settling in Jacksonville, Florida, to be close to her family of origin, Connor founded HAP East, a local homeschooling group whose focus and mission is to create community and continuity of relationship for homeschooling/attachment parenting families. 

Connor joyfully shares her experience, strength and hope with families and friends in the recovery, homeschool, and AP communities; she combines the spiritual principles of the 12 steps with the practical and compassionate parenting strategies of API to inform her path and growth as a woman, mother, wife, and active member of her world. 

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