Experimentation in children of addicts

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Experimentation in children of addicts

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As a parent, I believe in my heart that connection is the most important thing I do with my children. As a woman in recovery, I know that that connection is going to be the basis of the tools of a conversation that I will begin having with my children the minute they can speak. We talk about integrity in my family, we talk about appropriate behavior, we talk about what it means to act as a part of our family. If and when my children began the process of exploration or questioning, “What does it mean to be drunk?” “Why do I want to do this?” “Do I want to try this?” First, I’m going to rely on cultural conventions – there is a drinking age and there are legal drugs and there are illegal drugs. So that will be the rule in our house. Another way that I’ll deal with it is, “If you feel the need to change the way that you feel, if you want to feel like you’re outside of your body or if you want to feel out of control of your body, why? What’s going on? Is there something happening? Did something happen I don’t know about? Is there something you want to talk to me about?” Because I know for me, as a woman in recovery, when I first started using it was because I didn’t feel like I fit anywhere and I used to become a part of a group. So if my children decided they want to experiment, I want to find out why it is and then we’ll move from there.

Watch Connor Barnas's video on Experimentation in children of addicts...

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Connor Barnas

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Connor Barnas is blessed and busy, living life with her husband Ethan and two children, Magdalena June, eight, and Augustus Wolfe, six in the midst of finding the sacred in the mundane and allowing space for serenity. After being given the gift of desperation, Connor began her life of recovery and discovery within the 12 Step paradigms in 1995. In 2002 she graduated from the University of New Mexico with a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art and married the love of her life, Ethan; moved to a beautiful, dusty, desert town; and began her journey as a wife and mother.  

In 2003, Connor co-founded an Attachment Parenting group, and became a leader shortly after.  Connor has been involved in the Attachment Parenting community as a leader and a resource, and was honored as a featured volunteer during Volunteer Recognition Week, April 2011 by Attachment Parenting International. 

After relocating and settling in Jacksonville, Florida, to be close to her family of origin, Connor founded HAP East, a local homeschooling group whose focus and mission is to create community and continuity of relationship for homeschooling/attachment parenting families. 

Connor joyfully shares her experience, strength and hope with families and friends in the recovery, homeschool, and AP communities; she combines the spiritual principles of the 12 steps with the practical and compassionate parenting strategies of API to inform her path and growth as a woman, mother, wife, and active member of her world. 

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