How to help children of divorced parents

John Gray, PhD Best-Selling Author & Relationship Expert, shares advice for parents on the best methods for helping your children through divorce and limiting the negative effects divorce has on them
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How to help children of divorced parents

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More and more research shows that divorce affects all children, and not in a positive way. And the rationale for our divorce sometimes is it's better for mom and dad to be apart because together they make it worse. And there's some truth to that. My commitment to my clients is yes, it's better for children to have happy parents. But you can learn new skills to make your marriage work and be happy for your children. But if you can't or if you don't have that information on how to make your marriage work and you get a divorce, the hardest thing on children is they don't see mom and dad respecting and loving and appreciating each other. So even if you're not married, if you can give the message to your children that mom appreciates and likes and loves dad and dad appreciates likes and loves mom, what happens is a balance occurs inside of the child. Whenever a parent is dissing the other parent, that child is bonding with this parent, but now rejecting the part of them which is like the other parent. And this creates a split inside of a child. It's very hard on them. Children always want to see mommy and daddy happy. In my earlier classes with children of divorced families, I have them draw pictures. And it's always pictures of mom and dad and rainbows and hearts. Mom and dad loving each other. It's our love as parents that brought those children into this world. And if we can't sustain a marriage, that doesn't mean we can't find love for each other, forgiveness for each other. so that's a motivating factor to forgive for you ex, to find love for your ex, to tolerate and accept your ex in those differences that you couldn't handle together. At least at some distance you can provide that support so your children can find greater peace inside their heart.

John Gray, PhD Best-Selling Author & Relationship Expert, shares advice for parents on the best methods for helping your children through divorce and limiting the negative effects divorce has on them

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John Gray, PhD

Best-Selling Author

John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love.

John also travels the world teaching communities and companies the best ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times as well as The Dr. Oz Show, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today and People.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

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