Saying "no" without feeling guilty about it

Relationship expert Dr. John Gray helps parents teach their daughters how to say no without feeling guilty about it
Parenting Teens | Teaching girls to say no without feeling guilty
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Saying "no" without feeling guilty about it

So many mothers have that question. My daughter is getting involved with these guys. And one of the reasons is many women can´t say no. They feel uncomfortable saying no. They feel guilty. They don´t want to hurt the guy´s feelings. And it is often that the male who is pursuing, who is inconsiderate, who is not there for them, who is the pushy one is the hardest one to say no to. And these are the worst guys to be in relationship with. You have to give your daughter a few words to use because she will say no and a guy will say but don´t you like me, don´t you respect me. And her response should be if you like me, then you would respect me and I am saying no. The phrase is how do you say no without feeling guilty. And you have the right to say no. This is my body. I am in charge of my body, and secretly know that when you set a boundary, it actually makes a guy want you more. The truth about guys, if they get what they want right away, they don´t value it. And this is universal, so you want a guy to like you and so you have sex too soon before you want to have sex or you get involved with a guy before you want to have the involvement with that guy, he will like you less. This is a universal thing. This is why women all the time are saying gee, I gave him everything he wanted and he doesn´t call back. He didn´t take enough time. You didn´t give enough time to earn his way to get closer to you, and you feel like gee, that´s unfair. I don´t want to have to earn my way. But you don´t have to. As a woman, you are attracting him. The male energy is wanting to enter into your world and only if he deserves it. And you have the right to say no, and this is why girls have to have just the language. As opposed to even feeling that entitlement, they don´t know the words to say. And the words to say is I like you. I might like you. And if you like me, then you will respect me. Simple. Just practice those words so you have something to say as opposed to with no words to say, then you are left just feeling bad and feeling sorry for him and you don´t want to hurt his feelings because you would never want to have your feelings hurt.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gray helps parents teach their daughters how to say no without feeling guilty about it


Expert Bio

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John Gray, PhD

Best-Selling Author

John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love.

John also travels the world teaching communities and companies the best ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times as well as The Dr. Oz Show, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today and People.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

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