What you need to know about the Father-Son dynamic

Dr. John Gray explains why having a father-son relationship is so important, and how families need a masculine energy to thrive
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What you need to know about the Father-Son dynamic

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In a relationship between the father and the son, it's so important that fathers spend time with their sons without the mother's involvement. So many times, mothers stand between the fathers and the sons. And the boy feels like I have to win my mother's approval. I have to do it moms way. Because dads will do it different ways. Dads will often challenge a son more. Dads will often be more adventurous. They'll take more risks. And the dad has to see what his dad does, because the dad lives inside the boy. And the boy has to feel validated by spending time with the father, just as the boy has the mother inside, and that's the part that connects with his mother. So time where the mother is not in control is not important. Where the father is with the son and the son is feeling, I depend on my father. And most men today don't know their roles with their sons. It used to be father knows best. And now we ridicule father. Father knows least. It's because a lot of the gift that a father gives is presence. It's silence. It's being calm in the face of problems. it's not necessarily getting upset about things. Mothers say, this is a problem. This is upsetting. And boys have to connect with that. What are going to do? That's a motivating factor. There's a nurturing that comes from mothers that fathers can't provide. But fathers provide a sense of presence and calm, as well a sense of adventure and playfulness. And this is really necessary for a boy to have both. It takes a man and a woman to make a child. That child to grow up needs the presence of a mother and a father, even if they're not married, that presence coming in. But the masculine energy is very important to validate the masculine response to things. And if he doesn't have that, then it becomes something which is undeveloped inside him.

Dr. John Gray explains why having a father-son relationship is so important, and how families need a masculine energy to thrive

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John Gray, PhD

Best-Selling Author

John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love.

John also travels the world teaching communities and companies the best ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times as well as The Dr. Oz Show, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today and People.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

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