How narcissism gets passed down

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How narcissism gets passed down

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Narcissism can be passed down from generation to generation if there is no intervention along the way, no one who says, “This is not okay,” no consequence for the behaviors. You’ll see children modeling behaviors they learned in the house, from the parents, from the grandparents, perhaps from extended family members and older siblings, and then you’ll watch them bring that into their own life as they grow and develop and form families later on on their own. So you’ll see this generational effect which is sort of frightening in a way, and unfortunate. The effects of narcissism on children are such that they’re not learning to develop the types of social skills, interpersonal skills, even basic communication skills, in some cases, to relate to others in a real way, in an authentic way. It’s always about whose is better, whose is bigger, whose is more spectacular and extraordinary, and you lose sight of just the ordinary courtesies and nuances of day to day life, living in a healthy way, living in an appropriate way. So essentially they’re not prepared to live in the world. They don’t know themselves well enough, and what they do know is often highly superficial or it feels too weak or shameful to expose.

Watch Wendy T. Behary, LCSW's video on How narcissism gets passed down...

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Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

Psychotherapist & Author

With 25 years post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy is also on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, where she has trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Dr. Aaron T. Beck). Wendy is also the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST).

Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She is the author of the New Harbinger Publication (1st and upcoming 2nd edition) Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. Her work with industry has included speaking engagements focused on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems. She is also an expert in coaching individuals in interviewing, public speaking, and interpersonal skills enhancement.

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