How boys contribute to girl conflict

Rosalind Wiseman, Author & Educator, shares advice for parents on how talking to your daughter openly about relationships can help to prevent conflicts between girls caused by boys
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How boys contribute to girl conflict

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Boys can contribute to the conflicts between girls in a lot of different ways, and sometimes the boys don't even know. It's really important for girls to realize that they can't let boys come between their friendships. I often say to high school girls, "Now girls, you think that you're smarter than most boys." And high school girls do think that. They think that they're more mature, definitely, than most high school boys. But in eighth grade and up, when a boy is seeing, or dating or whatever you want to call it, two different girls, and the girls don't know, and then they find out about it, who do they get mad at? They don't get mad at the boy. They get mad at each other. So what I say to the girls is, "Who's smart now? You can't say that the boys are so dumb when they're working you like this." So it is so important for girls to realize how some boys can manipulate them into tearing their friendships apart and their relationships apart. And at the same time, there are boys who are sometimes even more active in splitting up girls or gossiping, and they can go back and forth between girls. So it’s important that whatever your daughter thinks about boys, if she’s boy crazy or if she doesn’t care about them at all or is somewhere in between, that you are really able to talk to her about what her relationships, regardless of if they’re boys or if they’re girls, what she really can depend on, what she really needs to have, and what she really stands for when she communicates that she’s frustrated or angry with people. When she does that, it’s going to help her with friendships and it’s going to help her as she gets older with even more intimate relationships.

Rosalind Wiseman, Author & Educator, shares advice for parents on how talking to your daughter openly about relationships can help to prevent conflicts between girls caused by boys

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Rosalind Wiseman

Author & Educator

Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership. Rosalind is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World, the groundbreaking, fully-revised edition of her bestselling book that was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Her follow-up book, Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads, addresses the social hierarchies and conflicts among parents and is now being made into a major motion picture by New Line Cinema. In 2010, Rosalind published the  young adult novel Boys, Girls, & Other Hazardous Materials, which was recognized by the American Library Association as one of their Most Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults.  She is now writing a set of companion books for boys and their parents, scheduled for publication in the Fall of 2013. In addition, Rosalind has written the Owning Up Curriculum, a comprehensive social justice program for grades 6-12 which is in widespread use across the country.  She writes the monthly “Ask Rosalind” column in Family Circle magazine, and is regular contributor to several blogs and websites. Also, Rosalind is a spokesperson for LG’s Text-Education Council that aims to inform parents about responsible monitoring of teen cell phone usage. Each year Rosalind works with tens of thousands of students, educators, parents, counselors, coaches, and administrators to create communities based on the belief that each person has a responsibility to treat themselves and others with dignity. In 2011, she was one of the principal speakers at the White House Summit on Bullying.  Other audiences have included the American School Counselors Association, International Chiefs of Police, American Association of School Administrators, and countless schools throughout the U.S. and abroad. National media regularly depends on Rosalind as the expert on ethical leadership, media literacy, and bullying prevention.  She is a consultant for Cartoon Network’s Speak Up, Stop Bullying campaign. She is a frequent guest on the Today Show, Anderson Cooper 360 and Dateline.  She has been profiled in The New York Times, People, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, USA Today, Oprah, Nightline, CNN, Good Morning America, and National Public Radio affiliates throughout the country. Rosalind holds a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Occidental College. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and two sons.

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