Tips to teach daughters to deal with Mean Girls

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Tips to teach daughters to deal with Mean Girls

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The first thing that your daughter has to figure out is what does she want from her friendship. You’re going to have to ask her that. Now the girls could have been friends for a long time and other going apart, or they could be like friends right now in a group and they’re having really, really big fracture or the girl could have been really, really mean to her and she has never been nice to her. I want you to sit down with your daughter and say, “What do you want?” and “Is that realistic?” If you’re not going to get it, how are you going to conduct yourselves so that you can feel proud because you’re not going to be nice to each other. That’s not going to happen. You cannot force children to be nice to each other, but what your daughter does have the right is that even if that girl doesn’t like her, she does not have the right to be mean to her. Your daughter needs to develop the skills that she is going to be able to stay to this girl something like, “look we do not have to friends, but what I'm asking is that” and then be very specific what you were doing, whispering when I walk by, saying an inside language that I don’t know, I could be very, very specific that, that stop. I know I can’t control it, but I'm asking you to do it. Then your daughter can walk away. Telling your daughter to do just walk away and ignore is not going to work because by the time the daughter has come to you to tell you this, she is probably trying to ignore it for very long time. When you want children to walk away, it’s on their own terms. Does this make the problem go away, just the girl says, “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I’ll never do it again.” No, but it makes your daughter be able to create the skills, to be able to face people that are very intimidating to her.

Watch Video: Tips to teach daughters to deal with Mean Girls by Rosalind Wiseman , ...

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Rosalind Wiseman

Author & Educator

Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership. Rosalind is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World, the groundbreaking, fully-revised edition of her bestselling book that was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Her follow-up book, Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads, addresses the social hierarchies and conflicts among parents and is now being made into a major motion picture by New Line Cinema. In 2010, Rosalind published the  young adult novel Boys, Girls, & Other Hazardous Materials, which was recognized by the American Library Association as one of their Most Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults.  She is now writing a set of companion books for boys and their parents, scheduled for publication in the Fall of 2013. In addition, Rosalind has written the Owning Up Curriculum, a comprehensive social justice program for grades 6-12 which is in widespread use across the country.  She writes the monthly “Ask Rosalind” column in Family Circle magazine, and is regular contributor to several blogs and websites. Also, Rosalind is a spokesperson for LG’s Text-Education Council that aims to inform parents about responsible monitoring of teen cell phone usage. Each year Rosalind works with tens of thousands of students, educators, parents, counselors, coaches, and administrators to create communities based on the belief that each person has a responsibility to treat themselves and others with dignity. In 2011, she was one of the principal speakers at the White House Summit on Bullying.  Other audiences have included the American School Counselors Association, International Chiefs of Police, American Association of School Administrators, and countless schools throughout the U.S. and abroad. National media regularly depends on Rosalind as the expert on ethical leadership, media literacy, and bullying prevention.  She is a consultant for Cartoon Network’s Speak Up, Stop Bullying campaign. She is a frequent guest on the Today Show, Anderson Cooper 360 and Dateline.  She has been profiled in The New York Times, People, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, USA Today, Oprah, Nightline, CNN, Good Morning America, and National Public Radio affiliates throughout the country. Rosalind holds a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Occidental College. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and two sons.

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