Defining Girl World and the rules therein

Rosalind Wiseman, Author & Educator, explains "girl world" for parents, or the unwritten rules that often guide girl's behavior and offers advice on helping their daughter through it
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Defining Girl World and the rules therein

Girl world are the unwritten rules that often guide girl’s behavior. They’re getting messages from all over the place, their parents, the media, their coaches, their teachers, each other, about what a girl should be so that she is valued, so that she’s respected, so people think that she has high social status. If she speaks, people will listen to her. It’s also giving you rules about what you shouldn’t be, what you can’t be. If you are these things, the people will not respect you, that they will not listen to what you say, that they will blow you off. The thing that is really tricky about girl world is that girls don’t know what the unwritten rules are much of the time unless they break them or when they break them. When they break them, then other people will be really judgmental. The girl will feel like “I’ve done something wrong.” I don’t know what to do about it.” That’s why girls often times get so confused about what they should wear, how they should wear it or they get really angry or resentful or they talk badly about other girls because we are constantly in this flux of trying to figure out what I feel about these rules, what do I feel about this girl world having control over me. Often times, it’s also as tricky as no one ever sits down and says this to you that these are the rules, this is girl world and this is how it’s going to really in some ways, really negatively impact the way that you conduct yourself or how you feel about yourself. Really in my work, one of the most important things that I do is trying to explain to girls what that girl world is for them. it’s going to be different for different girls, but we want them be able to have them, feel good about themselves for authentic reasons and feel good about what they’re doing and why they’re doing it and the decisions that they are making or standing up with friends or why they have certain friends or why do they not have certain friends. Why do they feel certain ways of themselves. Why did they like some boys? Why did they not like some boys? What happen when somebody gossips about you? How can you handle that? All of those dynamics are really about girl world. If we can teach them about, they are going to have more control about how to navigate through it. Through that process, they feel more proud of who they are.

Rosalind Wiseman, Author & Educator, explains "girl world" for parents, or the unwritten rules that often guide girl's behavior and offers advice on helping their daughter through it


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Rosalind Wiseman

Author & Educator

Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership. Rosalind is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World, the groundbreaking, fully-revised edition of her bestselling book that was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Her follow-up book, Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads, addresses the social hierarchies and conflicts among parents and is now being made into a major motion picture by New Line Cinema. In 2010, Rosalind published the  young adult novel Boys, Girls, & Other Hazardous Materials, which was recognized by the American Library Association as one of their Most Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults.  She is now writing a set of companion books for boys and their parents, scheduled for publication in the Fall of 2013. In addition, Rosalind has written the Owning Up Curriculum, a comprehensive social justice program for grades 6-12 which is in widespread use across the country.  She writes the monthly “Ask Rosalind” column in Family Circle magazine, and is regular contributor to several blogs and websites. Also, Rosalind is a spokesperson for LG’s Text-Education Council that aims to inform parents about responsible monitoring of teen cell phone usage. Each year Rosalind works with tens of thousands of students, educators, parents, counselors, coaches, and administrators to create communities based on the belief that each person has a responsibility to treat themselves and others with dignity. In 2011, she was one of the principal speakers at the White House Summit on Bullying.  Other audiences have included the American School Counselors Association, International Chiefs of Police, American Association of School Administrators, and countless schools throughout the U.S. and abroad. National media regularly depends on Rosalind as the expert on ethical leadership, media literacy, and bullying prevention.  She is a consultant for Cartoon Network’s Speak Up, Stop Bullying campaign. She is a frequent guest on the Today Show, Anderson Cooper 360 and Dateline.  She has been profiled in The New York Times, People, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, USA Today, Oprah, Nightline, CNN, Good Morning America, and National Public Radio affiliates throughout the country. Rosalind holds a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Occidental College. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and two sons.

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